Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!