If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
All stereos are so typical.
I listenend to the football game on the radio. It was being broadcast on a catholic satellite radio station.
So I tirned to my dad and said, "That's weird. Football isn't even that religious of a sport!"
My dad replied, "Nope. Lacrosse is!"
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.