A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.
When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!