I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
A friend of mine told me he’d give me a radio that had no batteries. I think it’s a wind-up.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
All stereos are so typical.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.