Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
Follow Beethoven's example. People said he was never going to be a musician because he was deaf. Did he listen to them? Of course not.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
All stereos are so typical.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!