What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"