What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.