"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
I pitcher us together forever.
I’m no geometric genius, but all love triangles soon turn into wreck-tangles.
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
I think you’re incredi-bowl.
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?
She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
You’re right up my alley.
Life without you would be un-bear-able.
Some bunny loves you.
I like you sow much.
Owl always love you.
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
I love you from my head tomatoes.
How did the telephone propose to his girl?
Duh, ain’t it obvious? He gave her a ring!
You are in my heart, my mind, and in my entire body.
In fact, my doctor says that you must be a parasite!
I’m soy
into you.
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
I cannot espresso
how much you mean to me.
From one vegan to another – I think you’re fern-tastic, and I’ll never leaf you baby.
We make a great pear
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
I'm reading a romance book in Braille.
I don't think I'll finish. It's too touchy feely for me.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
I scored when I met you.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
We bee-long together.
Pugs and kisses.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
My gay lover asked me if date night was optional.
I said no, it's a mandate
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
Never has there been a more romantic story than how those two geologists met.
It was lava at first sight.
A toast to you:
You always know how to make everything butter.
You make miso happy.
Wow, wouldn’t mind if you became my significant otter.
"Aloe you vera much."
Why should you never break up with a goalie?
Because he is a keeper!
What did one sushi roll say to the other sushi roll?
I’m soy into you.
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
-
One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
"I wood never leaf you."
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th