I don’t know about you, but I think helicopter rescue pilots have the best pick-up lines.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
What is the cutest car?
A BM-cuddle-U
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
We make a great pear
I love you berry much.
You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
What did one sushi roll say to the other sushi roll?
I’m soy into you.
Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
Your love is like vodka.
You were worth the chase.
I love spending koala-ty time with you.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
I love you deerly.
I’m soy
into you.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
Owl always love you.
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
Sorry if this is extra cheesy, but you have a pizza my heart.
I scored when I met you.
What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?
Ouch
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
That's just how I roll
Why did the skeleton need a hug?
Because he had nobody.
I whale-y like you.
Pugs and kisses.
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
You make me melt.
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
You're my purr-son.
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
You’re my #1 pick.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
