-
One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
I whale-y like you.
How did the telephone propose to his girl?
Duh, ain’t it obvious? He gave her a ring!
I’ll always be running-back to you.
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
What did the koala say to his girlfriend?
I love you-calpytus.
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
You're my purr-son.
I think you’re incredi-bowl.
Your love will always be up to par.
You’re right up my alley.
You must be copper and terillium because you are Cu-Te
"Yoda one for me."
"I wood never leaf you."
I have bean
thinking about you.
Its ok to kiss a nun....
But don't get into the habit.
I’m no geometric genius, but all love triangles soon turn into wreck-tangles.
"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
I cannot espresso
how much you mean to me.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
What did one sushi roll say to the other sushi roll?
I’m soy into you.
I cannoli be happy
I don’t know about you, but I think helicopter rescue pilots have the best pick-up lines.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
I scored when I met you.
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
Owl always love you.
Pugs and kisses.
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
Wow, wouldn’t mind if you became my significant otter.
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
Whenever two vegetarians fall in love, you know that’s going to be a great pear. Now lettuce celebrate, because we all love vegetables.
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
I get a real kick out of you.
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A babe-blade.
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.