Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Santa's beard is so long because he's bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?
They told me I was too old to hunt for Easter eggs, but the jokes on them!
I prefer mine poached.
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
To beer or not to beer… That is the question.
He came, he thawed, he conquered.
Beer-lieve it or not!
Why did the Easter Egg hide?
Because he was a little chicken.
Why did the Easter Bunny go to the doctor?
It was time for his annual eggzam.
Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist? He no longer believed in himself.
I’m elf-taught.
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy
Here today, lepre-gone tomorrow.
“You’re my soul Santa.”
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
Your sweater must be made out of wife material.
You’ll be Dublin your fortune soon.
He’s an elf-made man.
I only have ice for you.
"Every bunny was kung fu fighting."
You must be a bowling ball since you’re right up my alley.
Don’t ever trust a leper-con!
We have great chemis-tree.
It's ice to meet you.
Icy what you did there.
This is snow laughing matter!
"Don't worry, be hoppy."
“I love you from head to mistletoe.”
You snow the drill.
Why does Valentine's Day never work in Africa?
All the lion cheetahs.
What was Santa's best subject in school? Chemistree.
Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.
I find you very a-peeling.
Reindeer don't go to school—they're elf taught.
How does an elf get to Santa's workshop? By icicle.
"Oh, I wanna dance with some bunny, with some bunny who loves me."
“How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer!”
Shake your shamrocks.
I’m so lepre-gone right now.
Son: does Easter Bunny set out 12 eggs in the field to search for?
Dad: no he dozen’t.
You are pitcher perfect.
I just want to say, “I love brew.”
Irish you were beer.
"Have an eggs-tra special Easter day."
For Valentines Day, I decided to get my wife some beads for an abacus.
It’s the little things that count.
How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?
Egg ercise.
Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you.
A round of Santa-plause, please.
"I would hop to the end of the world for you."