Why do referees always hurry to catch their next flight? Because it's "two
minutes 'fore boarding!"
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
After the Moroccan scored a Hat-trick, the players gathered for the fez-off.
Can linesmen enter the Hall of Fame? Yes, because they decide who's HOFside.
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.