I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.