A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.