What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball