Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.