What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.