What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.