What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.