Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
