Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.