What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
Did you hear about the football player with the dirty mouth?
Yeah. He was an offensive lineman.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
My wife just now: Do men's ears actually work or are they just for decoration?
Me: 'What?'
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
What is your mouth’s favorite exercise?
Burpees.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”