Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted
It’s my 2020 vision
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
Did you know there is a new horse species with one eye and a horn?
It's called a unicornea.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What do you call a person with a peg nose acting suspicious?
Suspeg.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
I can cut a piece of wood with my own eyes just by looking at it
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
What comes out of your nose at 200 mph?
Lambogreeny.
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
you can hear the OSHA?
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What do you get if you cut off Mona Lisa's ears?
MONO LISA.
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
I got punched in the mouth by a drug addict today.
Now my jaw’s all methed up.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.