There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?
A crop-toptometrist
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough."
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead.
Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
My wife just now: Do men's ears actually work or are they just for decoration?
Me: 'What?'
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
What is your mouth’s favorite exercise?
Burpees.
My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.
She’s an Opthemallogist.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.