Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?
A crop-toptometrist
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What do you call a person with a peg nose acting suspicious?
Suspeg.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...
...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough."
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.
She’s an Opthemallogist.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.