What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!