It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.