Can I be Candide with you?
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
In Spain, you should not develop a program beyond 2.0.
Because that would be over dos.
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars.
I must have left on Data Roman.
What do you call a 1 cent coin in Italy?
A penne.
Why did everyone want to go to Italy during World War II?
They were Fascistanating.
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
Why is research more trustworthy if it comes from France?
It's Pierre-reviewed.
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
José and Hose-B.
What sound does a Greek cow make?
"μ"
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
What language do they speak in Italy
Times New Roman.
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets?
His name was Only One Cannoli.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
Why does it take so long for the EU to figure out how much Italy owes them every year?
Hey, ease up. Rome wasn't billed in a day.
If I were to wander around in Italy...
Would I be roamin'?
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
What will you call two quizzers having a date in spain comic con?
Spanish con-quiz-daters.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
French, French Revolution
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
This is the first year I’m not going to Italy because of the coronavirus.
Normally I don’t go because I’m poor.
What do pups eat in Italy?
Pawsta.
"There's a woman trapped under a motorway bridge in Italy."
"Genoa?"
"I'm not sure, I can't see her face."
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
Where do folks from Bilbao, Spain buy outdoor equipment?
The Basque Pro Shop.