Can I be Candide with you?
What's the difference between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt?
Greek yogurt has a rich cultural history.
I asked my Italian grandfather if the rougher parts of Italy were called the spaghetto.
His look was pasty.
I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars.
I must have left on Data Roman.
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
Achoopacabra.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
We Rodin a taxi around the city after dark.
What is the call of a Spanish speaking owl?
Quién...Quién.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
Where do folks from Bilbao, Spain buy outdoor equipment?
The Basque Pro Shop.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
How do cats say goodbye in Italy?
Miao.
I asked my Spanish girlfriend to make a to-do list
so she wrote down everything.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
My local Italian restaurant is moving to Italy
They are moving to greener pasta.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
José and Hose-B.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
What do you call an elderly Spanish man?
A senõr citizen.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
Have you seen the Greek book that became a movie? You odyssey it.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
After hearing about my history major, my dad said, “You should go visit Italy in late August.Then you can witness The Fall of Rome."
Whats a good Spanish sports channel?
ESBieN.
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control.