Country Puns

Welcome to the Geographic Humor of country puns!

Country Puns

Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
Have you seen the Greek book that became a movie? You odyssey it.
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
Achoopacabra.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
Where do folks from Bilbao, Spain buy outdoor equipment?
The Basque Pro Shop.
How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain?
Soy Bean.
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said "Si."
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
‪This is the first year I’m not going to Italy because of the coronavirus. ‬ ‪
Normally I don’t go because I’m poor‬.
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
What do you call an elderly Spanish man?
A senõr citizen.
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
What language do they speak in Italy
Times New Roman.
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control.
My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain.
Adios Omegas.
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
I visited Spain and couldn't stop looking at the architecture
It was very Moorish.
What is the rough part of Italy called?
The spaghetto.
Took a tour of Pisa, Italy...
Tour guide said “Hello, my name is Eileen.”
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
I asked my buddy if he wanted to know what the word “the” was in Spanish. He expressed his disinterest and I responded with...
"Your los."
You heard about the Spanish woman that is now a man?
He’s called Senor Rita.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
When I went to highschool in Italy my classmates were one year older than me.
I Skipped pasta grade.
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy,
but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
In Spain, you should not develop a program beyond 2.0.
Because that would be over dos.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa is in Italy
So it’s italicized!