A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
José and Hose-B.
I visited Spain and couldn't stop looking at the architecture
It was very Moorish.
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
There's a new film out about two insects that meet in Italy.
It's Rome ants.
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
I'm a supervillain from Italy, I have the power to infect people with deadly diseases.
It’s-a-me, Malario.
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
Who holds sermons during Sunday in Italy?
The Pasta.
What do you call a hangover when you're alone in Spain?
Barf-a-lona.
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
Why did everyone want to go to Italy during World War II?
They were Fascistanating.
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
Took a tour of Pisa, Italy...
Tour guide said “Hello, my name is Eileen.”
How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain?
Soy Bean.
Why did Italy surrender in WW2?
Because Italics aren't bold.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
I heard the King of spain caught Covid...
Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.
So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
This is the first year I’m not going to Italy because of the coronavirus.
Normally I don’t go because I’m poor.
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
What is the rough part of Italy called?
The spaghetto.
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
The Leaning Tower of Pisa is in Italy
So it’s italicized!