Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!