The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.