Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.