A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
What are police cars made of?
Copper
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.