Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
Car puns are really tiring
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.