My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’