What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.