I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
