Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
Car puns are really tiring
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!