My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?