Bathroom Puns

Come bathe in the glory of these bathroom puns

Bathroom Puns

Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started.
I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you have plaque on your wall?"
A plumber and his coworkers finally fixed his own sink after years of not having access to tap water. He started crying, and his coworkers asked why.
He said with a trembling voice, "Because water works!"
The plumber was working on the side to become an artist.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find a faucet for his creativity.
People who take good care of their hair with just shampoo and water...
Must love it unconditionally.
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
Why did the sponge wake up early?
To get the moist out of the day.
My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...
That way I'd be 'head & shoulders' above the competition.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
Some people stand up off the toilet before they flush, but I don’t
I don’t want to see that sh**!
My wife says to me this morning "Our son's toothbrush is getting fraid"
I say "What's it so fraid of?"
Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
Brace yourselves kids!
Our dentist is shutting down.
Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."
"No Sh**".
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Gummy Bear.
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
Many people believe liquid soap is more hygienic than soap bars.
Don't listen to them, it is only a slippery soap argument.
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,
I sing faucetto.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
I wonder...
How much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...
Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her a bath. She wasn't content.
I'm so upset, I even used color pencils for this.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
Eu-reek-a
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
A man has to go, but has no toilet paper. His friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back all dirty, so his friend asks "What is that horrible smell?". So the man says,
"Hard to wipe with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel"
I always start my day with makeup. It's the foundation for a good day, y'know? It covers up anything from yesterday and really sets things in place so I can powder through my work.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
Only a**holes use bidets.
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth...
He said it was acci-dental.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
The girlfriend said she had to go file her nail because it was bothering her.
I asked, "Would that go under N for nail? Or M for Manicure?"