Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.