Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
