What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.