Whip Jokes

Whatโ€™s a horseโ€™s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
How to Escape Hell Three men go to hell and theyโ€™re pissed off about it. โ€œSurely we werenโ€™t that bad?โ€ they ask themselves. โ€œThere has to be something we can do to get out of here.โ€ Satan suddenly appears and says โ€œOh, but there is! Withstand ten whippings from my trusty whip here and youโ€™re free to go. Iโ€™ll even let you pick something to cover your back with.โ€ The men let out a cheer. This wouldnโ€™t be so hard, they think. The first man steps up and observes his surroundings. Finally, he picks a sturdy looking boulder to place on his back. โ€œReady,โ€ he says. Satan raises his whip and yells, โ€œONE!โ€ CRACK The boulder immediately splits in half. โ€œOh no way. Forget about it.โ€ says the first man. โ€œIโ€™ll just stay.โ€ Satan smirks and asks, โ€œWhoโ€™s next?โ€ The second man steps up and, without picking any protection, gets in position. โ€œAre you sure about that?โ€ asks Satan, to which the man replies with โ€œI have trained my mind and body to ignore any unnecessary pain. I need no protection.โ€ โ€œWhatever you say, pal.โ€ Satan raises his arm and yells, โ€œONE!โ€ CRACK The man slightly flinches, his pain evident, but he remains upright. Annoyance flashes across Satanโ€™s face. He raises his arm again and shouts, โ€œTWO!โ€ CRACK Again, the man remains upright, all the way up to the tenth whipping. He gets up, in pain but happy. Satan looks furious and says, โ€œWhatever, good job, I guess. You, third guy, youโ€™re next. What are you picking?โ€ The third man takes in his surroundings, lays his eyes on his choice and says, โ€œIโ€™m gonna pick the second guy.โ€
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
Why are chefs so mean? They beat eggs and whip cream.
A Different Type of Hell A man dies and goes to hell. Once there, he finds that there is a different hell for each country, so he tries to seek out the least painful one. At the door to German Hell, he is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." He does not like the sound of that, so he checks out American Hell, Russian Hell and many more. They are all similarly gruesome. However, at the Italian Hell a long line of people are waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Italian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that's the same as the others," says the man. "Why are so many people waiting to get in?" "Because of the power cuts, the electric chair does not work. The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable. And the Italian devil used to be a civil servant, so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for private business."
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