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Showed Jokes

Toaster Puns
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
Halloween Puns
My aunt showed up to our Halloween party wearing ranch bottle costume. She was an hour late.
Her response: Sorry, I was getting dressed.
One Liners and Short Jokes
I showed up late to a cannibal party.
I got the cold shoulder.
Spotify Pick Up Lines
My Spotify sucks. It showed me the hottest singles, and missed you out!
Ancient Rome Puns
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
Medieval Puns
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
Zombie Puns
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Witch Puns
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
Cherry Puns
What happened to the cheery that showed up for the tomato auditions? He was called an imposter.
Utensils Puns
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
Color Puns
When the time came, he betrayed our team and showed his blue colors.
I was astonished when my shirt's color changed from red to pink after a wash. Guess it showed me its true colors.
Mother Puns
I showed my mom my report card, she said that she needed to see more A's
I said OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
My wife showed me two of her mother’s quilts and asked me which one I preferred.
I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”
Fly Puns
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.
I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.
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