Ray Jokes

"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
โ€œThe best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor peopleโ€ โ€“ Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
Hey baby, wanna witness a gamma ray burst?
"The philosopher who said that work well done never needs doing over never weeded a garden."
- Ray D. Everson
I was watching a movie when the screen started to emit blue light. Guess this is one of the cons of watching movies on Blue Ray.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
โ€œHaving children is like living in a frat house โ€” nobody sleeps, everything s broken, and thereโ€™s a lot of throwing up.โ€

- Ray Romano.
โ€œEveryone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world, but they are also terrorists. Youโ€™ll realize this as soon as theyโ€™re born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.โ€

- Ray Romano.
Whoโ€™s a llamaโ€™s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
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