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Press Jokes

Nurse Puns
The other day I was lifting weights on the bench press, when I dropped the weight and it fell on my chest. The nurse said I broke three ribs but I would live. Hearing that really lifted a weight off my chest.
Werewolf Puns
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
Juice Puns
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
Coffee Puns
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
Spouse Puns
I asked my husband to please press pause on the movie We were watching.
He called the dog over for the task, wanted to press his paws.
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
Hey girl, are you a faulty French press because I’d like to be burned by you and recall you afterward.
Laundry Puns
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
Keyboard Puns
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Funny Aging Quotes
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
Orange Puns
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
One Liners and Short Jokes
Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
Saxophone Puns
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
Irish Puns
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.
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