Pray Jokes

What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
โ€œHaving a child is liking getting a tattoo on your face. You better be committed.โ€

- 'Eat Pray Love'.
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. -- Fred Allen
Praying at the Wall In Jerusalem, a journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview. โ€œSir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?โ€ โ€œFor about 50 years.โ€ Said the old man. โ€œ50 years! Thatโ€™s amazing! What do you pray for?โ€ โ€œWell, I pray for peace. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up wise, in safety and friendship.โ€ โ€œHow do you feel after doing this for 50 years?โ€ โ€œLike Iโ€™m talking to a wall!โ€
Why did the hawk sit on the churchโ€™s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
Which birds go to church a lot?
Birds of pray.
In Mysterious Ways An elderly woman rushed to the pharmacy to pick up medication, but when she returned to her car, she realized she had locked her keys inside. Looking around, she spotted an old rusty coat hanger on the ground. She picked it up and whispered, โ€œLord, I have no idea how to use this.โ€ So she bowed her head and prayed, โ€œPlease, God, send someone to help me.โ€ Just minutes later, a beat-up old motorcycle pulled into the lot. A bearded man in a biker skull rag got off and asked, โ€œNeed some help, maโ€™am?โ€ She explained, โ€œMy daughter is sick. Iโ€™ve locked my keys in the car. I need to get home. Can you use this hanger to open it?โ€ The biker smiled and said, โ€œSure.โ€ In less than a minute, her car was unlocked. Overcome with emotion, she hugged the man and cried, "Thank you, God, for sending me such a kind man!" The biker chuckled and said, "Lady, Iโ€™m not a good man. I just got out of prison yesterdayโ€ฆ for car theft." The woman hugged him even tighter and sobbed, "Oh, thank you, Godโ€ฆ You even sent me a professional!"
Why did the hawk sit on the churchโ€™s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
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