Plastic Jokes

"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."
โ€œMoney canโ€™t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards
I'm sure that must have been a record.
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts.
Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctorโ€™s office is full of portraits by Picasso.
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldnโ€™t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said โ€œYeah kid, thatโ€™s just not going to cut it.โ€
Man: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
Woman: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
(give a dozen plastic roses) "I'll stop loving you, when these roses die.
What's the name of a nurse who inserts plastic tubes into people?
Catherine.
I donโ€™t have a controller,
And I donโ€™t have a screen,
I donโ€™t need to be plugged in,
Iโ€™m not grey and green.
I canโ€™t make sound effects,
Or visuals that are fantastic,
You canโ€™t put me on a shelf,
Because Iโ€™m not made of plastic.
However, I do have curves,
Will keep you entertained all the same,
You canโ€™t insert a disc,
But we can make our own little game.
(Sarah Allen)
โ€œA good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.โ€
Graham Norton
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.
I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.
I started a job making plastic Dracula figurines but thereโ€™s only two of us in the production line.
I have to make every second Count.
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