I was at a magic show, when after one particularly amazing trick, someone screamed out, "wow, how did you do that." I would tell you", answered the magician predictably, "but then I'd have to kill you." After a moments pause the same voice screamed out "can you tell my mother in law?"
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
Is it me or the nature of money, That's odd and particularly funny. But when I have dough, It goes quickly, you know, And seeps out of my pockets like honey.