Loose Jokes

What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer? A loose Canon.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sackā€¬
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
I bought a parrot but he has a foul mouth.
I let him loose so that he could fly South.
But he came home again.
This proves that I can't win.
He says the F word two hundred times a day.
He offends everybody and drives them away.
Nobody will take this bird even though I offer to pay them.
I'm going out of my mind, it looks like I'm stuck with him.
I have the only parrot on Earth that's a sinner.
If he doesn't shut up, he's going to be my dinner.
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
Why did Frankensteinā€™s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
How is a shoddy furniture manufacturer like a bag of prunes?
They both create loose stools.
What song did Kenny Rogers write after his cowboy boot broke?
ā€œYou picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Heel.ā€
What song did Kenny Rogers write after his cowboy boot broke?
ā€œYou picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Heel.ā€
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
I heard there is a vampire on the loose, you better stay with me.
Why can't you take a nap during a race? Because if you snooze, you loose!
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
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