Heating Jokes

My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.
He said, ā€œIā€™m turning off the heating.ā€
How to Get the Husband Hot and Heavy Two women are talking about their love life over coffee. "I don't know what to do.." groans Margie, "I'm too shy to ask for it, and he doesn't initiate enough!" "Well," said her friend Sharon, "I have a surefire way to start up my husband." "Oh?" asks Margie, "DO tell!" "Well," smirks Sharon, "I just sit next to him and then I slowly put my hand down his pants and say: "My, aren't you cold in there, could use some heating up... works every time!" "You know what, maybe I'll try that." laughs Margie. They meet up again a few days later and Margie is in a terrible mood. "You almost got me divorced!" she says to Sharon. "WHAT? HOW??" Sharon is astounded. "Well, I did what you said, and I stuck my hand down his pants, but it wasn't cold it was already hot!" "So?" asks Sharon, confused. "Well then I asked my husband why the inside of his pants is hot and not cold like Sharon's husband."
How do you get rid of a cold?
Turn the heating on.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, ā€œIā€™m turning off the heating.ā€
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: ā€œSure, my door is always open.ā€
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
Will you come to my place? You can sure lower my heating bill with your hotness.
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