Dreams Jokes

As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
The Valentine's Day Gift It was a few days before Valentine's Day and a young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day! What do you think it means?" Her husband smiled. "Oh, I have a feeling you'll know later tonight." he said with a wink. His wife squealed with joy. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it... only to find a book titled "The meaning of dreams."
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
take me to some dreams afar.
Help me, help me get some sleep.
Before I have to shoot a sheep!
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
You can stop running after your dreams. I am right here.
“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”
Mitch Hedberg
Are you a ghost? Because you’ve been haunting my dreams.
Do you have a quarter I can Bora Bora? I want to call my mom and tell her I've met the girl of my dreams.
Haven’t I seen you before? Maybe in my dreams?
Would you mind loaning me a quarter? I want to call my mother and tell her I just met the woman of my dreams.
Hi. Do you remember me? Oh, that’s right—we’ve only met in my dreams.
The Mayor's Nightly Visit A new mayor of Chicago is chosen. That night, Franklin Delano Roosevelt appears. The mayor asks him "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?". FDR responds: "Do everything for the people". The mayor wakes up startled, and mutters "Lies!" under his breath. The next night, George Washington appears in the dreams of the mayor. He asks "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?", to which GW responds "Never tell a lie". The mayor wakes up startled, and curses under his breath. "That's not possible!" The next night, Abraham Lincoln appears in the mayor's dreams. The mayor asks "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?" Abraham looks at the mayor, scratches his beard, and takes a while to answer. "Visit a theater."
Sorry I've been following you...
But my parents told me to chase my dreams.
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
Baby, I'm like efavirenz. I can decrease your odds of nightmares, but you still may have strong vivid dreams about me — a very common side effect.
Are you sugar? Because I just had sweet dreams about you.
Remember me? Oh I'm sorry how would you know me, we've met only in my dreams.
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