Beat Jokes

How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
Roses are red, violets are blue. My heart began to beat when I first saw you.
"I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it."
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
We are often greatly bothered
By two fussy little men,
Who sometimes block our pathway –
Their names are How and When.
If we have a task or duty
Which we can put off a while,
And we do not go and do it –
You should see those two rogues smile!
But there is a way to beat them,
And I will tell you how:
If you have a task or duty,
Do it well, and do it now.
Honey, are you a drummer? Because you can make my heart skip a beat.
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
Is your name flecainide? Because you just made my heart skip a beat.
Propranolol is red, digoxin is blue. My heart skips a beat when I see you.
You feel like that old book tucked away in a corner – one look at it still makes my heart skip a beat.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
"You give me premature ventricular contractions. You make my heart skip a beat."
- Natalie Portman, No Strings Attached (2011)
Q. What did the bully do to the orange?
A. Beat him to a pulp.
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
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