Audience Jokes

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe? -- Quentin Crisp
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
Australians usually boo meringue.
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!"
POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.

But to explain the concept beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
Why do people sing in the shower?
Because the audience in the toilet is sh**!
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
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