Amount Jokes

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
Jerry Seinfeld
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
If I had a nickel for every time I received a nickel, I would have an infinite amount of nickels.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
A Touching Encounter Walking through a supermarket, a young woman noticed an old lady following him around. She ignored her for a while, but when she got to the checkout line, she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said. “I’m sorry if I’ve been staring, but you look just like my daughter who died recently. “I’m sorry for your loss,” the young woman replied. “Is there anything I can do for you?” “Well, as I’m leaving, could you just say ‘Goodbye, mother!?’ It would make me feel so much better.” She gave her a sweet smile. “Of course I can,” the young woman promised, touched. As she gathered her bags and left, she called out “Goodbye, mother!” just as she had requested, feeling good about her smile. Stepping up to the counter, she saw that her total was about $100 higher than it should be. “That amount is wrong,” she said. “I only have a few items!” “Oh, your mother said that you'd pay for her.” explained the clerk.
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
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