Air Jokes

“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”

- Dorothy Parker.
Want to get some air? You took my breath away!
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
The Balloon Family There once lived a family of balloons, there was: A mommy balloon, a daddy balloon and a kid balloon. Each night the kid balloon would get nightmares and go into the parents bed when they were asleep. The daddy balloon constantly told the kid balloon not to do this as it was disrupting his sleep schedule. But as the kid got older and older he began not to fit. So one night he released some air from mommy balloon. Then the next night: he released air from the daddy balloon. On the 3rd night he couldn't fit no matter how hard he tried, so he decided to release some air out of himself. The next morning the father woke up enraged as he was still shattered from a sleepless night. He goes: 'Son, you've went to far... you've let me down, you've let your mom down, but most importantly son... you've let yourself down."
From Work to Worse I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor. The nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
A chicken goes into a library. He stands at the librarian's desk and says, "Buk," so she gives him a book. A couple of minutes later, the chicken returns. "Buk," he says, and she hands him another book. This goes on and on.
Finally, it is the librarian's break time. She goes out back to get some fresh air by the pond. That is when she sees the chicken and a frog on a lilypad. "Buk," says the chicken as he tosses a book to the frog. "Reddit," replies the frog...
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
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